I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
