Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize