Christians are straight up FREAKS
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
