So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
