I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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