Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize