Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize