One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
