i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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