Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
