I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
