just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
