Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
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