I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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