ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
