we're blogging at a bar
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
