pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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