Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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