He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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