i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're too hungover to prance.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize