You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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