I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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