i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you would pick up someone in the library
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
