You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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