I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
