This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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