So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee