I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't