I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
