Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT