Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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