I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.