so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
