Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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