coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
