I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
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It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
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I think pants incapable of making pants work
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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