trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
