the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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