Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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