I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
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I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
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Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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