At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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