Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
