I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
