Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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