Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
