Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
