so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
