Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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