My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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