fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
