You smell like stripper and shame
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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