are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
