I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
