none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize