Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Less talking, more tequila
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
