weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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