and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
