Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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