This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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