The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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