no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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