Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
