I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
