hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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