we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
