that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
My ATM looks so different sober.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
