The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
