Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
